The Fullness of Life
Beginning - Middle - End
The Fullness of Life
I used to think that middles were the best part. Of anything: books, meals, songs, conversations. That space where you're past the beginning dance of the unfamiliar but not yet to the point of the winding down ritual preceding the end. Just fully immersed in a thing with more to go and some sense of how it will go. But we've all been stuck in a meeting that sails past its allotted time or watched a movie that went on a few scenes too many. We’ve felt the frustration or disappointment or boredom that sets in, so we know that a too-long middle can be just as out of place as a missed beginning or unmarked ending.
Through my personal life and professional training, I've come to appreciate each part of the cycle - beginning, middle, end - each in its own place and in its own season. Each aspect vital for the way it shapes the rhythm of ebb and flow. It doesn't mean I'm always ready for the wheel to turn, the next phase to happen or that I don't still resist it at times. But I am now able to appreciate that this is the natural order of things: when something is done - whether enjoyable or unpleasant or neutral - it must be put to rest and it must be turned under into the soil before the next thing can begin, sprout and grow. This is what the fullness of life is made of.
We really can’t have one without all of them: beginning, middle, end. It’s the balance of all three that keeps life moving, interesting and alive. Sometimes we need to grow our ability to tolerate discomfort in one or all of these areas so we’re not skipping over or dragging on past time. Unless we’ve put some work in, this type of tolerance and being with doesn't come naturally to many of us. Most of us were not socialized in a culture that honored this natural order or helped us cultivate the necessary skills. There’s a collective myth that it’s just a matter of being inherently gifted or terrible with these types of transitions. But that’s far from the truth; these are skills that can be learned. It takes practice and getting it imperfectly while you’re learning and a lot of self-compassion for those moments when it just seems easier to go back to old ways and avoid. It takes a conscious commitment to being present to yourself and life.
Today, at this liminal time of year, I invite you to take a moment to notice where you are in your own life.
Which parts of your life are in which phases of beginning-middle-end?
Is there anything that must be put to rest? Something to mourn and express gratitude for?
Is there something that’s ready to begin, even though you may not feel ready to take it on?
Are there middle places that need your attention, presence and interest to keep them moving?
It’s alright to feel the tug of resistance or the urge to distract. Extend compassion to yourself for any moments you’ve been rushing over or avoiding in life. Just for this moment, simply breathe and acknowledge where you are with each of part of the cycle. Feel your own connection to all of life and the balance of all things and let yourself linger here on the threshold just a moment longer than usual.
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